Daily Log #11

I went with ordering green tea instead of coffee from Starbucks today and it turned out to be a better option. My stomach stop being an asshole and I didn’t really feel any major rumbling until it was lunch.

For lunch, the intern and I actually planned to eat at Seasonal Salad Bar but when we got there, the shop was closed. It felt kind of disappointing because I wanted to eat the main course. So end up we went with eating at Ichiban Sushi but it was a bad call. The service is so slow that we only got our first order of salmon sashimi 10 minutes later. My own meal came more than thirty minutes later. By then, the intern was almost done with his meal.

After that, we actually went to get some fruits but everyday it’s like we are gambling. The reason being the fruits we got everyday have inconsistent quality. On some days, the fruits taste sweet while on some other days, all the fruits we got didn’t have any noticeable taste. Sometimes, it’s a mixture. For me, I got a slice of watermelon and pear. Both of them turned out to taste like they haven’t ripe fully and not sweet at all.

For work itself, software testing continued as usual today. It is during this testing that we found more bugs and issues to fix. I took a systemic approach to fixing the bugs, starting with the easiest to do to the hardest.

However, Visual Studio 2017 was being nasty to me today. I had to restart the development machine once to even get things churning along but barely. During debugging, it was so slow that stepping through each line of code took five seconds. It even crashed once. Even the application itself also wasn’t responsive to some of my interaction because of the high cpu usage by the development studio.

The other thing I came across was the limitation of using base64 representation of image files. My colleague and I went with converting images to base64 strings because it was the easiest way instead of working with multi-part content. What we needed was speed in development so that we can reach this testing stage early. Today we got to see the sheer size of the base64 content when working with image files bigger than 2MB and IIS was spewing out 404 errors while the client application was trying to send the data over. Thus we had to make a last minute decision of restricting the maximum size of an image to 1.5MB. Of course, we will need to look at this deeper and then come with a better solution. For now, we will leave it at that because the testing has to go on.

During that testing, I found myself feeling kind of frustrated and I couldn’t really narrow down the reasons why. It could be because I’m bored with my work, wanted to do something else instead of testing, or it could be because of my ongoing unhappiness with the whole thing. That feeling did go away as it got closer to the end of workday.

Once home, I spent most of the night watching Dragons: Race to the Edge season 2.

I’m having trouble to get my gears moving again to finish that novelette I started last month. It’s already a full month since I last wrote anything. I should just stop looking for excuses and just get on with it, forcing myself to write it to conclusion.


Daily Log #10

In the morning, I found myself overeating again because of a mistaken feeling of hunger when it was just my stomach being an asshole and decides to produce more than the usual amount of acid. I chomped down two egg mayo sandwich that I got just shortly before lunch, making myself full.

Now, I thought I reduced the odds of my stomach misbehaving… I suspect it must be that three shot latte that I consumed yesterday. Of course being a coffee addict, I consumed that again today.

A few things happened at work.

The first was my colleague, XX, got called away by the division manager. I didn’t know what happened until much later when she joined us for lunch. She mentioned that the division manager is actually spending time to find out how “happy” we are at the job. There was the comment that females seem to be happier at work than the guys. Then she mentioned the division manager actually asked her, how I’m doing. XX responded, “Don’t ask me. Ask him.”

Now come to think about it, so that time when the division manager wanted to talk to me, it was about this? Hmm… Alright… But so far, I admit I haven’t been very reactive to or active in the affairs of the company. I have in fact skipped quite a few company events and actively seek to avoid the higher management. I generally went with a low profile there, focusing on doing my work and leaving on time whenever I could. Or maybe that’s the sign of disengagement… Let’s see how it goes going forward.

The next thing happened was regarding integration testing in the afternoon. I encountered some problem discussing with the people from the subcontracting company because they spoke in full Mandarin. I couldn’t understand half of what they are saying due to the use of certain verbs and nouns that I typically hear in English. I had to get my colleague to translate for me. And end up, she did all the talking for me. 😅

The next was I went ahead to implement mouse cursor changes depending where the mouse landed on a piece of image with custom drawn selection boxes. However, I couldn’t test that properly because the connection to the image analytic engine was down. And I was feeling lazy, not wanting to write excessive amount of codes just to generate the selection boxes. So I just wait around instead until it was time to go home.

At home, I decided to watch the movie call Annihilation on Netflix. I thought it looked interesting. I didn’t have much exception from it until the movie progress further along. It became clear to me that the characters were a little cold and underdeveloped. It was only during the last thirty minutes or so that it got interesting. But it sure gave me some inspirations and that’s the important thing for me when I consume any content.

While I was writing this Daily Log, I got kind of bored…no, actually a mild case of writer’s block that I actually jumped to another empty text file to write an article titled “We are all slaves”. You can read it here

And ok, I’m pretty exhausted. So I will just stop here.

Daily Log #9

I got myself a Latte with three shots of expresso from Starbucks just so I can survive through the morning. After drinking a few sips of that latte, I waited until the caffeine kicks in. Once that happen, the headache went away and I was able to focus.

I spent my morning trying to figure out how to get the scrollbar for the tabs to appear using the Telerik library. I felt like I was an untrained monkey pounding away at the keyboard, having no idea what I was doing.

Then my team lead called for a meeting with the subcontractor, which was a company from China. While in the meeting, my team lead led the conversation sharing about the issues discovered during the testing of the application in the customer’s environment. XX was the second most involved in the meeting because she’s working on the server side of things which directly interface with the module that the subcontractor is responsible for. Another colleague and I were just sitting there listening. I also took the chance to record a voice memo on my phone so that I could review it later if I need to.

I went back pounding away at the keyboard after the meeting to try again until it was almost lunch. It’s just disappointing that I didn’t get anywhere.

After my lunch, I went to get some fruits for myself and actually asked if my team lead wants fruits too. Yet the best part is I forgot about it when I was at the store ordering my share of the fruits. My lack of sleep is really ruining my memory. Haha.

By late afternoon, I figured out what was happening with the codes and managed to solve the issue. It was caused by the incorrect serialization and deserialization of the application layout. There were missing XML attributes that control the tabs’ scroll viewer component. After I put in some codes to ensure the custom attributes is included in the serialization/deserialization process, the scrollbar for the tabs worked as intended even after the application quits and is relaunched. Yay me. At the same time, I also went about testing out the image upload and feature extraction functionality. It was working half the time and is pending the subcontractor to fix the problems found.

So my conclusion is despite my lack of sleep, I still manage to get some stuff done. I’m just so happy.

Today I also came to a conclusion that my parents are quite toxic when it comes to behaviors and what they say to us. It is not an easy conclusion to come to but once you have been exposed to sufficient “self-help” materials you start to see the patterns. There is three common things that I noticed from my family: threats, complains, and playing the victim card.

I’m also guilty of such behaviors as I am not perfect. I grew up in such a environment that it also affect how I treat the world. So what I can do is to be conscious of my emotions and actions so that I can arrest any attempts to engage in such things. I for one wants to live a better life and be better than who I was before. Threatening other people psychologically, complaining, and playing the victim card doesn’t get you anywhere. What one could be doing is to identify the problem and find a solution as I described in my article.

But of course in an asian family context, the young ones don’t really get to tell your elders stuff. It’s disrespectful and can create huge amount of tension at home which is something I want to avoid at all cost. Less stress equals better life. So instead the best one could do to maintain a certain harmony at home is to ignore those toxic behaviors and focus on surrounding yourself with the right people outside of home. If necessary minimize the interactions you have. Another thing that one could attempt is to inject the importance of taking actions for your own life and stop complaining whenever you are conversing with your parents. Well, that’s what I am trying to do anyway.

One last thing.

My client contacted me about another bug found in the application. I went about fixing it yesterday at night at home. Not ideal but since my client won’t be doing any deployment after March, it’s best to release any fix now. It turns out it was something that I accidentally introduced when I was refactoring and cleaning up the codes. The “else” portion of the code was missing which prevented certain actions from being taken in certain scenarios. But because I couldn’t remember what I removed, I had to go back to the older version of the code and study that.

Daily Log #8

I came down with an allergy attack today and went to work sniffing. The attack got worse later in the day and by night time I was already sneezing non-stop. I had to self-medicate but it didn’t really work that well.

At work, I consider it to be a productive day. I was able to finish up additional tweaks to the search function that I was working on. Now all I need to do is to test the full set of functionalities as part of the integration testing.

Despite my allergy attack, I still feel pretty good about work. Somehow that disengagement feeling that I have has subsided a little.

Later in the evening, I met up with my friend for a movie, watching Tomb Raider again. We had dinner at Tim Ho Wan, a dim sun restaurant.

And you know what’s sad? I couldn’t sleep the whole night because my mom was agitated the whole night over some stuff and I suffered overstimulation. With that overstimulation, I started overthinking stuff. That’s the neurotic mind for you. Now, I don’t know how to clear this stimulation other than staying up late, tossing and turning in bed.

Thus, I’m up writing this Daily Log at 3.02am. Yes, I did plan to sleep early and write the log in the morning. But I guess plans change. Now I’m having a headache, sore jaw, dripping nose, and experiencing hunger.

I only managed to get some basic shut eye at around 4am onwards but it was pretty scattered. Like fifteen minutes here, twenty minutes there. And I also shifted the alarm clock forward by another 20 minutes. But at the end, I still feel like crap.

Maybe I will force myself to work today and see how it goes. Just don’t feel like wasting up to $70 seeing a doctor to get a medical certificate saying I’m not feeling well for work. And it’s not claimable from the company.

Daily Log #7

I think I have finally caught up with my sleep debt because I woke up early today. So I used the chance to make myself a bowl of cereal and eat some cake for breakfast. After that, I went about editing and publishing my Daily Log.

It was almost 9am I sat down at my desk. I started to do some work when my team lead call for a meeting at 10am to follow up on the stuff we have done. The sub-contractor would be coming in tomorrow to do the integration and our things should be ready for that. During the meeting, I admit I wasn’t actually very interested in what’s going on.

I actually tried to write a poem and doodle but none of them turned out to be any good.

After the meeting, we went for lunch. Today lunch for me was a tough chew. I ordered roasted pork with char siu rice but the meats were pretty tough and some of them actually got between my teeth. I hate that. I guess next time I won’t be ordering from that stall anymore.

Then we went back office and I went to implement a functionality that the user would want. It’s call multi-tab search result. It took some hacking with the help of google before I got it to work using Telerik for WPF. Getting something to work felt great even though I am kind of disengaged from my work.

My friend also told me that he liked my latest post about self awareness and said my writing has improved a lot. Thank you for that. I will keep working on my writing and improve further.

Just as I was about to leave office, my division manager decided to come in asking to talk to me. However, as I was rushing home it was rescheduled to tomorrow morning. Of course, there are a few things that went through my mind but none of them good. I just know that there is nothing else I could do and so I acknowledge those thoughts and move on.

Once I was home, I got back to watch Jessica Jones and found myself binge watching until episode 6 of season 2 when I decided to stop. I plan to sleep early so that I can wake up early to do some more writing.

I have been making it a habit to jot down ideas, statements or phrases as soon as they come to mind. It’s so that I will have potential content to write about and don’t get writer’s block going forward.

The other thing that I have been doing is interact with articles posted on medium by leaving behind comments. The main idea is to show up everywhere and get myself out of the comfort zone of writing in some dark corners of my house while living inside my own head. I know for sure that’s not how one improves their writing.

Daily Log #4

A few days ago, my client contacted me about some bugs found in the trade settlement application. After going through the received emails, I decided that I will go to the client’s office. One reason was that I didn’t want to bring programming work back home anymore. It’s a desire on my part to create a psychological segregation between what I do at home for my soul and what I do for money.

So I applied to take a day off today and went to the client’s office. Although I could have gone there at anytime, I chose to continue to wake up at my usual work time so that there’s a sense of routine.

I packed everything I need for me to do my work and made my way there.

The work itself wasn’t that particularly difficult. A quick study of the existing codes, a quick debug, and I just knew what to do. I managed to finish fixing the issues and did a quick test to confirm the fixes worked in under an hour.

Come to think about it, I didn’t really spend too much time on designing the codes any further. The reason is very simple. This application’s life span is already coming to an end as there is a replacement by their in-house developer. So the only thing I need to be doing is to fix any pre-existing bugs. In a way, it’s a nice thing to see the conclusion of a project I was on for the last six years on both full-time and part-time basis.

There is other thing I enjoy eating and that’s the salad from The Salad Corner.

I went with Salmon, Thai Grill Chicken, Romaine Lettuce, Carrots, Egg whites, broccoli and olives. For sauce, I went with olive oil.

It was mentioned by some of my friends that my complexion have gotten better compared to the last time they saw me. Well, I supposed it’s because of my constant consumption of fruits and vegetables over the last few months. However, I still suffer from acne scars that doesn’t go away without treatment by professionals. So I plan to do that soon.

I went home at around 4pm because I was tired and my stomach felt weird. On the train back, I keep dozing off while standing up. But overall, I like to work this way because there’s more autonomy compared to just sitting in office from 8.30am to 6pm and even if you are done with what you are supposed to do early, you have to stay.

Once home, after a quick shower, I went for a nap. My dad did ask me what I want to eat for dinner and I said I want char siu rice. I must be damn tired because I woke up only at 8.15pm. A straight 2 hours plus nap.

Another thing of note is, my mom and sisters won’t be home over the next few days as they are in Thailand for holiday. So it will just be me and my dad at home.

At night, I watched two episodes of Dragons: Race to the Edge and a few episodes of a Japanese anime called A.I.C.O. So far, both of these animation series are my favorites.

Daily Log #3

You know what’s hard?

It’s trying to navigate through the day with mild sleep deprivation, have a general lower energy level than average people, and general discontentment. That combination pulls you down and destroys your desire to do anything. You simply don’t have the mental capacity to think critically.

And that’s why my Daily Logs are published the next day after I wake up. It’s so that I have slightly fresher mind to edit the content. But the log is written on the day itself so that I don’t forget stuff.

Yesterday morning, I woke up only after my phone’s alarm went off. I was just exhausted that I had to stumble off my bed. The first thing I did was to check my phone only to see a whole bunch of emails notifications.

The notifications were for emails sent by WordPress telling me who liked my content. With that in mind, I want to use this chance to thank everyone who read and liked the stuff I published. It means a lot to me and brighten my day.

Anyway, I brought my MacBook out to the kitchen so that I could eat my breakfast while editing the Daily Log from the day before yesterday. Yeah, this is what I do ever since I published the first Daily Log.

I also took the chance to look through the novel I wrote and found that I don’t have the motivation to edit it further. I also hadn’t been contributing any words to that novel for almost a week now. I still want to finish it but I couldn’t get into the flow but my energy levels were completely gone. Sounds like excuses, doesn’t it? Heh. Looks like I really need to audit my life again and change my schedule.

This is what I’m thinking. I need to go to bed early and waking up earlier to devote the morning to writing like some of the other writers do. After all, it is the time of the day when you aren’t drained by work stuff and you get all the peace and quiet needed to do your best work. As for the lower energy levels, I should also go for an early morning run first before writing. I suppose I will look into putting it into action next weeks onwards.

When I arrived in office, I was feeling like crap. It only got better after the caffeine kicked in and that’s when I started doing my work… Come to think of it, I can’t even remember exactly what I did. I can’t believe it’s that uneventful. Oh my gosh! What did I get myself into?

When it’s time for lunch, I actually sat with the colleagues in my cubicle whom I shall name YL and CF. Oh yeah! I don’t know whether it’s coincidence or what but we got our food faster than the rest. Throughout the lunch, I didn’t really engage with the other colleagues and my team lead was seated like one chair away. After that, I actually went to the NTUC supermarket to get some milk as snack.

It turns out drinking milk is the best way to manage excessive acid production. So for those who are also struggling with excessive acid, you could try it. But I don’t think I should keep drinking milk all day. It’s unhealthy and possibly dangerous. I need to find other solutions… Oh, ginger tea helps also to minimize the effect. That’s how I survive through my morning with the constant rumbling.

In the afternoon, my team lead and I were walking towards the pantry when he mentioned that I have become quieter than usual. I brushed off the comment and responded along the lines of, “I’m writing a whole bunch of stuff and preferred to keep quiet so that I can focus on my thoughts.” I knew it was a bullshit response but I didn’t really want to talk about the real issue underneath.

And the real issue is? I’ve become disgruntled with the project and the whole team. This is what happens when you could no longer convince yourself of the work you are doing is meaningful and you feel that the situation is going to change anyway.

Now of course my team lead replied that I could share some of my work with the team. I just kept quiet.

The work in the afternoon was more memorable. I realized I have implemented something wrongly and have been calling the wrong functions because I didn’t quite understand the codes my colleague wrote. It was spaghetti and rely excessively on class-level variables. It’s something I try to avoid these days when I write codes unless I’m working with actual business models. So I spent sometime fixing it and got it working as intended.

The other thing also pop up. YL found some issue with the codes written by the other colleague whom I shall call XX. It was confusing and the variable types have been changed without warning. The constant values used were not application specific enough yet generic enough. What I mean by that is there is no domain-specific values. What values XX used for the application we are developing are exactly the same as the third-party module we are integrating with. Now considering the application we are developing is a product, shouldn’t it use terms and values that are more inline with our domain? And she mentioned that she built products before. From where I sitting, it’s like whatever she’s doing shows she has no clue at all. Then she will keep insisting she’s right and keep telling you that you are completely wrong. Now, imagine you have to suffer this a few more times and you hear the same set of behavior directed at other colleagues in the room.

So now you have it: that’s one source of my dissatisfaction with XX…

Ok, I better stop there if not I will go off on a rant. I’m just too passionate about doing things right and not fast.

Anyway, you know the feeling you get after a long day of work and having done nothing meaningful? It makes you so exhausted that you didn’t want to do anything else? That’s what happened to me. So I just went and took a nap after a shower while my mom and sister went out to get dinner.

I went to watch three more episodes of Dragons: Race to the Edge on Netflix after dinner before deciding to force myself to write this Daily Log…and that’s it for my day.

I’m just exhausted…

P.S. Woke up the next day (9-March-2018) and still feel like shit. I only managed to fall asleep at 3am…

Daily Log #2

The first thing yesterday morning, my colleague asked me a work-related question. However, as I didn’t sleep well again the night before, I could barely answer her. My thoughts were everywhere. I told her my mind ain’t working and can’t help her much. She and I were much closer in terms of working relationship thus she understood. After all, we did spent hours gossiping at work.

I spent a good amount of time in the morning sipping Caffe Latte from Starbucks. It took a while before the caffeine kicked in and I could start working on my assigned task. I put on the AirPods and blasted music away as I worked.

Throughout the morning, I also had to deal with my stomach rumbling until lunch time. The rumbling actually got pretty bad about ten minutes before twelve in the afternoon.

Before my colleagues and I went for lunch, another colleague asked me to go over to the testing room for help with the computer administrator’s username and password. She wanted to configure the host file of the system so that the one of the module in the application could work. But as I was actually focused on playing a game on my phone (yes, I was taking a break), I did get pretty irritated. The rumbling stomach wasn’t helping. But I hoped I managed to hide it well.

I went over with her to the testing room, keyed in the username and password on the computer, and checked to make sure all is fine. But there was some issue with the server causing the client application to fail to connect. Told another colleague and my team lead. Subsequently, the colleague went to look for someone from the infrastructure team to take a look.

We didn’t wait around for the issue to be fixed. Instead, we went off for lunch. I went with ordering Fish and Chip with salted egg sauce from the western food store because I was tired of eating the other food. The food wasn’t too bad and I was too hungry to be complaining.

After lunch, I went to get some over-the-counter medicine for my stomach. The excessive acid production is really pissing me off and ruining my quality of life. I just kept wondering why hadn’t the medical professionals find a permanent cure for it.

We went back to office and stopped by the fruit store to get some fruits first. Once back, I chomped down on the fruits, went to myself a cup of green tea using two tea bags and then got back to work.

You see, I gained a lot of weight since the beginning of the year. Just a year ago, I weighed 68kg and now I weighed 78kg. 10kg increase! Oh my goodness! So I was hoping the increase tea intake will help with that. And I know the real reason for that weight gain. It was all thanks to the excessive acid production that I had to eat quite often and I lost track of how much calories I put in. I also lived quite a sedentary lifestyle because I’m pretty lazy.

By around 4.30pm, I was already feeling tired and can’t wait to get out of office. I started winding down my work and went to watch YouTube videos on my iPad instead. I know, I looked like a bad employee who isn’t focus on his work and you are probably right. But I just don’t see a point in pushing myself to work more when I have already finished my tasks for the day. My goal in life is to lead a unbusy life and not suffer burn out which has a far more detrimental effect on my work quality.

My team lead also asked my colleagues and I to sync up on what we have done. The reason being, the sub-contractors will be coming down from China next week to work with us on integrating our application with theirs. We had to make sure our basic use-case flows are working so that we can achieve a more productive result during the integration. For me, I was pretty much done already. I just need to do some regression testing because my colleagues have made changes to the backend and the APIs.

I left office at 6pm sharp, stopped by a Jollibean store to get a cup of unsweetened soy milk to stave off that hunger I was feeling, and went home.

I spent most of my night watching Dragons: Race to the Edge on Netflix. I’m still in love with Toothless the dragon. He’s so animated, funny, playful, smart, and cute. If only I have a pet like that…

And that rumbling stomach of mine actually got worse. It became visually obvious that my abdomen had bloated up due to the amount of gas. It was painful. Making things worse was my mom cooked fish porridge, which’s so hot that I couldn’t eat fast enough to stop the pain. Unsurprisingly, I was pissed at the situation. Sigh…

One last thing, my friend is glad that I brought back the journal as he’s an avid reader. For me, now that I named it a Daily Log, I hope I don’t get confused with writing personal growth-type and self-help articles like this or this.

And it’s important to note that I need to strike a balance between writing fiction, writing journals, and other non-fiction articles. Some of the reasons put out by Mishell Bakerhere are journals can actually prevent you from doing the actual work of writing and make you bad at writing because no one will critique your journals. After all, journals is all about you and your life. It just doesn’t make sense to be criticizing it unless criticizing someone else’s life is your thing.

Journal #331

It’s frustrating.

It’s depressing.

It’s one of those days when you felt like you sucked at everything, no matter how hard you try. You started overthinking, keep beating yourself up…

You wanted to go somewhere, far away from civilization, so that you can heal your soul. But you realized the place you lived in has too much civilization not enough nature. The trees planted are all artificially curated by some faceless bipedal animal under the instructions of some other faceless bipedal animal.

The thought of natives uprooted by said bipedal animals crushed your soul. Your heart cried. You cried.

You watch the news, you saw felines bleeding, crushed or ruined by said bipedal animals. You wondered how could anyone be so cruel.

You go to work and see all these bipedal animals, roaming about trying to go by their days, solving other people’s problem in exchange for money so that they can solve their own problems. Your bosses breathe down on your neck. Your colleagues put you down and play games to win. You are on the receiving end. You wondered what’s the point of all that.

You go home and drown yourself in games, movies, and books to escape. Yet you are reminded again what you are doing now is useless and worthless. They don’t help you achieve anything in your professional life.

Soon, you are left wondering what’s the point of life if not just to struggle every minute, every hour, and every day until the day you are drawing your last breath. You realized you have not change the world in any meaningful way. But it’s too late. You are either six feet under or become ashes and be scattered to the winds.

Journal #330

The chair slid across the floor and your butt went on top of it. The text editor opened and you stared at the white canvas. It stared back at you. Your fingers rest on top of the keys unmoving. You tried to think of something interesting to write about.

One minute went by. Two minutes went by, then it became five. Before you know it, and it was ten minutes later, the white canvas continued to stare back at you. You thought to yourself what the hell just happened. Did you just get a writer’s block? You started to beat yourself up just because this should be easy for you. You have been doing this for months after months. So the question is why are you stuck?

It’s so obvious. Your life is uninteresting. You have not been growing anymore. You are fucking stagnant! You are letting your fears hold you back and you have not been distilling your observations.

And there, the words miraculously appear on this white canvas.

Now that writer’s block, that frustration, is the result of having been doing monotonous, uninspiring work, dealing with a colleague that you are not happy with, keep finding yourself too worn out from even writing something for your novel, and realizing you have to go back and do it all over again. Everyday, without fail.

This frustration spills over into other areas of your life. You start going to work even later. You become cold towards everything else. You don’t feel excited by any form of meet ups. You hate everyone around you.

Thus, that poem I wrote earlier…while I was at work…

There are a few solutions to that problem. The ones that I can think of are as follows and not in any specific orders:

  1. Change up your routines.
  2. Change your job scope.
  3. Change your job.
  4. Change your attitude.
  5. Go kill yourself.

I can’t do number 2, 3 or 5. Number 2 and 3 just won’t happen. My boss won’t let me change. I need the money for my freedom fund and am holding out for the contract completion bonus. For number 5, I love myself too much to kill. So I will have to change up my routines and my attitude towards work.

And hopefully, I stop having this kind of writer’s block or frustrations.

Lastly, I promised myself that I will read a fiction book instead of a non-fiction. So I went to buy a fiction book after work. I went without any expectation or have a specific author in mind at first. Then as I browse the shelf, I hope I would come across Michael Offutt’s Slipstream. But I couldn’t find it. I ended up with the book call NYXIA by Scott Reintgen.

I don’t know how good is the book and I never heard of this author before. So I guess I will see.